Her name was McCoy's Moonlight Magnolia -- we called her Maggie, for short.

I never thought Maggie would leave me 1st. We have 2 other dogs age 14 & 16. Maggie was the Puppy of the family.

It all happened so fast, Oct. 19,2005 at 1:00 Maggie was fine playing around the house....the next min. she's on the Foyer floor having a horrible, violent, seizure.

I was so scared....& I know she was scared too.

I loaded her in the back of the truck and ran her to her Vet for some test.....she had a 2nd seizure within an hour of the 1st one.....She really didn't rally back from the 1st seizure though.

All the test came out ok......The Vet said the only other thing it could be was a Brain Tumor....Dr. Jill was confident that was the problem. She said Maggie wouldn't get any better & brain surgery on dogs, especially Maggie's age, was not good.

I went back to be with Maggie at 5:00 to send her to Puppy Heaven. I took her Duck-Duck toy that she carried around like her baby. I held her & hugged her & told her how much I loved her & how perfect & smart she is. Dr. Jill gave her the shot & she drifted off to Puppy Heaven.............

After Dr. Jill said she was gone...I hugged & kissed her again...then she gave me one last big huff with her last big breath... I think that was her " I love You Too Mom"

My heart hurts soooooo bad, it was so hard to leave her.

She's never been away from me. She followed me around the house & in the garden, always watching & protecting me. I cry every time I think of her & I think of her always. She was like a child to me.

I can't bring myself to sweep her shedded hair from the floor or but her toys back in her toy box. Her bed is still on the floor at the end of mine. I just can't remove her from my life right now.

The Vet's Office has a service that cremates your pet & returns them to you in a week or so. I couldn't bear to have her put in the ground or "disposed of " so I asked to have her & her Duck-Duck toy cremated & brought back home.

God forbid, when the other dogs leave me, I will do the same for them.

I will keep them safe with me until it's my time to go. Then we will all be tossed to the wind together.

I know that was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life.

It was the worst for me, but for Maggie, it was the best.

I loved her too much to let her suffer.

Maggie, mommy loves you soooo much.

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